Shades of White
by VampireQueenAkasha
Summary: Sequel to Paint it Pink: After Lars finds himself alone on Homeworld, he seeks White Diamond out and they have a conversation about the other side of the Gem Rebellion. He learns more than he wants. - AU -


**Shades of White**

 **Author's Note** : I decided to do another little continuation of my (Scary!White) fics. **Ranger-356 Of N.C.R** recommended that I combine these stories together. While that is good advice, I kinda wanted to treat them like little episodes, in a sense. This was also inspired by the song "Enjoy the Silence" by Lacuna Coil.

This also shares similarities with "Off Colors".

 _"The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is."_

\- Winston Churchill

" _In war, the first casualty is truth."_

― Terry Hayes, I Am Pilgrim

 **By: VampireQueenAkasha**

~O~

[ _Pre-War_ ]

 _The Diamonds circled the place where she was to appear._

 _Beautiful music filled the air, radiating strength and welcome. It was a song performed by hundreds of pearls; a dulcet, powerful vocalization to welcome the new Diamond. Other gems were playing instruments. The first thing a Diamond should hear was the welcoming song, performed by the gems of the Authority._

 _White Diamond stood silently beside the other two, breath held in anticipation. This was a momentous occasion. The birth of another Diamond would be marked in their history. Yellow and Blue exchanged looks before smiling. They'd rarely seen White so...eager. In her way._

 _When Pink began to emerge from the great crater below, White Diamond actually smiled. It was done in such a way that lit up her entire face. This was noticed by Blue Diamond. She chuckled a little and tilted her head._

 _"White, you're smiling." she said._

 _"Why would I not?" White asked, not tearing her eyes away._

 _She approached Pink Diamond - a gem whose eyes seemed full of wonder and curiosity at the world around her. When she noticed the other Diamonds, her face lit up with delight._

 _Gems around them looked awestruck by her presence and knelt down, lowering their heads; the new Diamond was worthy of all the adoration she was to be given. White Diamond herself had never seemed so pleased._

 _"Welcome, Pink Diamond.." Yellow Diamond greeted, equally delighted._

 _Pink Diamond smiled at them. "Ah. It's good to be alive. To be here among you."_

 _White Diamond placed an arm around her shoulders, ushering her to follow them. "Come. We have prepared much for your arrival."_

 _It was the first time that White Diamond initiated physical contact with another gem as well. Pink Diamond's birth had yielded change in most of them._

[Present Day]

White was smiling, but it wasn't the same as it had been in that memory that came unbidden. This one was wide-eyed, toothy and eerie; she watched Steven, Lars and the off-color gems escape her sight through the tunnels.

O

"Steven! I think we're far enough!"

Lars cried out a frightened sound as Steven dragged them all, bubbled down the quarry's path. He didn't know where he was going, only that he had to get away from White as fast as he could. His running had been tossing the gems inside the bubble all over one another.

"OH!" Steven cried, screeching to a halt. "Oh, I'm sorry, everybody!"

His halt sent the gems bowling over each other; Lars gave a yelp and ended up squished between the Rutile Twins and Fluorite. Padparadscha laughed a little, resting on the crown of Fluorite's head. Rhodonite picked her up and looked warily over her shoulder.

"Is she following us?" she asked, with a frightened sound.

"I don't think so." Lars said, glancing back briefly.

Steven removed the bubble and the gems fell onto the ground. Lars reached up to rub his head, but a small glow from it startled him. He yelped, staggering back with alarm.

"Aah! What was that?" Lars cried. He reached up to touch his hair with two ginger fingers and once again, it gave off a small glow. "Huh? It, like, lit up, right? You saw it, too."

Steven frowned thoughtfully, tilting his head. He reached up, touching Lars' hair; his fingers phased through his hair and the spot glowed once again. Steven's features lit up with realization and he brightened, thinking of Lion.

"Lars, I think I know what this is." he said.

Lars looked anxious now. "Well? What is it?"

Steven made a face. "Well, I mean, it would mean I'd have to..." He trailed off, shaking his head and waving two hands in the air. "Forget it."

Lars sighed, speaking evenly. "Look, Steven, I'm not gonna get mad, okay? I trust you," he told him, "Just help me out here. If I've got magic hair now, I want to know."

Steven didn't want a repeat of posessing Lars, but he looked so desperate for answers and had given him permission this time. He straightened, gesturing for the other gems to back away.

"Everyone stand back." he said.

Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins took a few cautious steps back; after a brief pause, Padparadscha eventually did the same. Steven looked at Lars carefully.

"All right, now just bend down."

Lars lowered himself to one knee and brought his head level with Steven's height. "Like this?" he asked.

Steven nodded. "Okay, now..." he began. He smiled weakly. "Now, you might feel a slight foot in your head."

Lars frowned in confusion. "Wait, what?"

Without answering, Steven carefully slipped his foot into Lars' hair; everyone gasped in surprise, amazed by the sight.

"Whoa!" Rhodonite exclaimed, "Are they fusing?"

Steven continued working his way into Lars' hair; he took a deep breath before disappearing completely.

He didn't return for a while.

Lars sat there, hugging his knees to his chest while they waited. For Steven to return? For magic to happen again? They didn't know.

"So...can all humans do this?" Rhodonite asked.

Lars shrugged his shoulders. "Uh, I don't know. I don't think so."

He poked his arm, watching the pinkish hue change for a moment where he'd put pressure to the skin. The gems around him were quiet until an arm emerged from Lars' hair. Steven burst free, exhaling sharply to get his breath back.

The pair lost their balance and Steven tumbled out of Lars' hair with a yelp. Lars groaned and Steven helped him stand. Lars straightened his back with a small sound and looked down at Steven anxiously for answers.

"So what happened? What's in my head?" he asked.

Steven brightened. "Home."

Lars looked lost. "What?"

Steven gestured to the others. "Everyone, I've made an amazing discovery! I just traveled back to planet Earth by going through Lars' head!"

Lars was shocked. "You went back to Earth?" he exclaimed. "What the heck?" He reached up gingerly to his own hair. "Is my head like a wormhole?"

"No, it's way simpler than that." Steven assured him.

He began to explain to the other gems, who watched him with a mixture of expressions; confusion, acceptance, curiosity and awe.

"You see, I have a pink pet lion who belonged to my mom when she was still here, and it turns out I can go into his mane, and it transports me to a magical dimension where my mom kept a bunch of artifacts on a hill with a tree, and for some reason, I can't breathe in there. But anyway, when I went into Lars' head, I got transported to the same magical dimension, but it was a new part of it, but since the two are connected, I could reach the portal that leads out of Lion's mane, which is back on Earth!"

After Steven's otherwise rapid explanation, Lars simply stood there, dumbfounded. He had no idea what to think of this. But luckily, he didn't have to as Steven offered him a sandwich he'd put together and a box of juice.

"Here, I brought you some food." he offered.

Lars furrowed his brow. "No. Not...not really."

Steven looked confused. "But aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten in days."

"I know. There must be pink magic in my guts now or something." Lars said, staring down at his belly with a mixture of confusion and doubt.

Rhodonite noticed the box of juice and picked it up, turning it in her hands for study. "What is this box?" she asked them.

Steven smiled. "It's juice. We drink it back on Earth."

The gems there looked shocked to hear about the mention of Earth. They looked at one another, mumbling to themselves before the Rutile Twins spoke.

"That can't be. " the Right Rutile said.

"Why can't it be?" Steven asked.

Fluorite exhaled. "Everyone knows that the Earth was decimated by the Diamonds."

Steven shook his head. "It's not like that. The Diamonds did attack, but there are still Gems living on Earth, and the planet's full of life," he assured them.

Rhodonite frowned, confused. "But why would Gems still live there?"

"Because the Earth is a place where we can be ourselves," Steven told her. "We can live freely without having to hide who we are."

At that, the gems seemed delighted. To be able to live freely as they were was an idea that they could only dream of.

"Live freely? Without having to hide?" the Left Rutile said.

Fluorite smiled brightly. "That sounds wonderful."

"It is. And now that we have this portal, we can all go there." Steven told them.

Lars frowned now. "All? How am I supposed to go through my own head?"

Oh. Steven hadn't thought of that.

O

After a few attempts to pull Lars' arm through the dimension in his hair, they eventually gave up on the idea after Lars cried out a few times in pain. Steven abandoned the task and sat down with a disappointed sigh. He didn't like the idea of leaving Lars behind.

"Okay, so that didn't work, but I'm sure there's another way." he offered.

Lars exhaled slowly, shaking his head. "No, no, look. I get it. Everyone just go, and I'll stay here." he told them. "There's no other way out. I'm it. The Earth is way better than this. There's no robots flying around. Just seagulls that fly in front of the sunset and it's beautiful! Just go, you'll see. I took it for granted, so don't pass up this chance."

Fluorite frowned. "We won't do it. Not if it means leaving you behind."

Lars scoffed. "What?! I'm trying to perform a beautiful act over here."

"We know this planet. We've been hiding in these tunnels for eons," Fluorite explained, in her slow drawl, "You'll need us to help you get around. Besides, us off colors stick together."

The camraderie made Lars smile now. It wasn't often that he felt a connection with anyone.

The Right Rutile placed a comforting hand on Steven's shoulder. "We'll get to Earth another way. We'll find an alternate route."

Lars frowned at Steven now, pointing. "But you've got to go back."

Steven started to protest, but Lars shook his head. "You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth."

"But Lars - "

"Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life." Lars sighed now, speaking evenly. "Just let me be somebody who deserved it."

Steven sighed, but nodded and relented. He gave Lars a hug and the other returned the embrace. It took a few moments before Steven pulled away and gestured to Lars' head.

"Um, if you could just..." he began.

Lars nodded. He lowered his head and Steven tenatively made his way into the dimension behind it.

After his departure, it was suddenly too quiet.

O

Lars couldn't sleep.

He continued to watch the direction they'd gone, as if uncertain that White Diamond would come through at any minute. He sat up from his uncomfortable place on a rock surface - which he tried to convince himself was a bed - before glancing over at the other gems. They had been sound asleep.

He started to walk back the way they'd come, not sure what he was doing, but unable to resist his movements. Curiosity.

He had to know.

It was crazy. He knew that as much.

Lars immediately froze.

He saw White Diamond still where they'd left her; she was kneeling on the floor, surrounded in scorched earth. The fire that she'd started was gone, casting her in an eerie darkness. Her eyes seemed to be closed and she looked as she had when Steven and himself had first found her.

Lars stared at the diamond warily. When he took another step, he tapped a small pebble and White's eyes immediately opened. She looked toward him and Lars froze with a frightened sound.

For the moment, they stared at one another; White Diamond's gaze was unreadable, almost blank. His was wide and frightened.

Then, White grinned; it was almost a playful, toothy smile that chilled the air around them.

"Aren't you a surprise." White said.

Lars didn't know what to say. He felt cautious, on edge. Why had he come looking for her? Maybe it really was some stupid curiosity on his part. Maybe he didn't want to have the off-color gems hurt because of him. Could he really appeal to White, though?

"I see Rose is not with you," White continued, her eyes scanning the small human, "Has she chosen to hide? Such is how she is, you understand."

Lars shook his head. "No."

He refused to tell her anything in that regard.

"Is that why you've come to find me?" White seem unusually amused by the thought. "To seek the answers they've deprived of you?"

Lars face only betrayed a hint, but White could see that it was exactly what he wanted. She chuckled and it was the first time he'd heard such a...pleased sound.

"Of course you do." she continued.

She paused and shut her eyes, leaning her head back. Lars studied the diamond, uneasy about the change in temperature between them. It felt colder still, but she seemed relatively calm when Steven wasn't around. Maybe the sight of him was what caused it.

"Have they told you the stories of the diamonds?" she asked. "About our role in the universe?"

Lars shook his head with a murmur.

White smiled thinly and it made her diamond-irises seem smaller in that sea of white. "Hm. No, of course not," she continued, "But each side of war has its own story and those stories are often told by its survivors. You do not comprehend the gravity of what they've done. You're just a talking animal. I would not expect you to understand it."

Lars laughed weakly, surprising himself with his next words. "Maybe you can help me get it."

White leaned her head back a bit, seemingly taken by that. Her brow formed a thin line and her lips tightened. It was a fleeting reaction that only passed for a second - easily missed by anyone. She smiled now and it almost seemed...content.

"Hm."

Lars didn't know what to make of that, but he stayed quiet.

White lifted one hand and a hologram of Earth appeared. Lars stared at the glowing image, captivated by the sight. A sense of longing passed from his eyes, but White caught it at the corner of her own. She smiled a little.

"Glorious, is it not?" she murmured, thoughtfully, "The little animals that crawl across its surface, always looking to the stars and dreaming of vast wonders beyond their reach, never seeing or knowing the untold void beyond. This...small little garden of flesh and bone... So worthy to the Rebellion. So worthy to kill for it. It is here that I first learned the meaning of despair and the agony that came with it."

Her fingers closed around the image, crushing the hologram of Earth in the palm of her hand and destroying it into nothing more than ribbons of light between her fingers. Lars swallowed thickly at the sight.

White turned her attention to him now and her gaze was suddenly poisonous; it reminded Lars of a serpent seconds from consuming a fresh meal.

"Do you know why Rose came to me with Pink Diamond in her small, wicked little hands? Because I loved her. More than anything. I see no reason not to tell you this. For what would it matter? You remain nothing to me. I loved Pink Diamond above all things in existence." She smirked, and it was a particularly cruel smile. "But Rose loved you more; the little...wriggling, hairless beasts. And she came to me, asking for your lives in place of Pink Diamond's. Such blatant pride."

Lars lowered his eyes. The way she smiled the entire time didn't feel right to him; her eyes were wide, as if she savored the memory rather than felt repulsed by it. He glanced over his shoulder and White chuckled when she caught the gesture.

"Oh, it's quite unbearable, isn't it?" she said, her voice light with that eerie amusement, "The suffering of strangers. The death of friends. The corruptions, the off-colors, the flaws and the cracked. It's all the same to me."

Lars frowned. "You - You're not fooling me!" he told her, forcing calm in his voice. "I know what you are."

White seemed amused. "Do you? What am I?"

Lars sputtered out a few words, uncertain of how else to respond before glaring up at her now. He wouldn't let her get to him. "You're not some victim! You tried to kill us twice!"

White's smile broadened with pleasure. She took more amusement in that idea than anything else. "And it would seem that I had succeeded with you. But Rose brought you back. As I knew she would."

Lars froze, eyes widening. "What? How'd you know that Steven - "

"Rose brought back many things from beyond the grave, such was how she was. Sentimentality is the coin of her weakness."

Lars looked down at himself, staring at his pink skin in silence. He didn't want to think about the possibility that White Diamond knew more about what he was now. But he had to know. He had to ask.

"What you are is a slave to Rose Quartz," White told him, her synthetic tone ringing out of her with amused delight at his horror. "What she brings back will forever be called to her command."

Lars looked frightened now. "What?" he exclaimed. "No! No, that's not true! You're lying!"

"Am I?" White found the notion amusing. "You may not want to come when she calls, but you will be compelled to obey, like the little apes you train to perform precious tricks. You may not understand, but I know."

The grin in her voice chilled Lars to the bone.

But the thought that he was now possibly one of Steven's "servants" bothered him greatly. White could have been lying to him - as far as he knew - but the possibility that she was being honest lingered in the back of his mind.

"You're wasting time appealing to my sympathies, human. I have none," White continued, "I would advise you live as long as you can. There isn't much time left on Earth for that."

Lars looked confused. "What?"

White's eyes glittered with amusement. "The Earth as you know it will be consumed by the Cluster. Destroyed. Wiped from the universe. And none would even bat an eye at its destruction."

Lars looked horrified. He tensed when White stood up and turned her back to him.

"What? No! No, you can't!" he cried, his voice shaking out of him. "We didn't have anything to do with this war! It's not our fault!"

White had started to go, but paused at the doorway. She smirked broadly and turned, moving closer to him with a wide-eyed grin.

"You love your world? Good. Then you can watch it burn," she whispered, her voice so chilling, yet so robotic and cruel that Lars would never again forget it. "That will only be the beginning of it. I will destroy Rose Quartz; slowly, intimately, in every way that a being can suffer. When she stands at the precipice of her obliterated world, soaked in the mire of her tears and broken beyond all reason... Only then will she have my permission to die."

Lars was stunned to silence. White Diamond smiled at him and turned, departing from the room and leaving him in darkness.

[Pre-War]

 _White Diamond was setting up a few things at a table. On the balcony, she glanced over and noticed Pink Diamond was busy dusting off a rose-shaped sculpture with grand sweeps of her hands. She occasionally paused to make sure it looked pristine enough._

 _"Pink Diamond." White said._

 _Pink didn't hear her. She tilted her head, licked her lips and wiped a smudge from the sculpture with her thumb. She smiled, satisfied with it. White leaned her head to one side._

 _"Pink Diamond." she repeated, when the other didn't hear her._

 _White eventually sighed, setting down a small cup before approaching Pink, her robes trailing behind her. Pink paused and smiled up at her. White studied the sculpture for a moment with only the faintest tilt of her head._

 _"This is certainly an interesting sculpture," White Diamond said, running her fingers briefly across the surface. "What, may I ask, did you create now?"_

 _Pink chuckled, straightening. She studied the sculpture briefly before she licked her lips. The way her eyelashes batted and her cheeks puffed in thought made White raise an eyebrow. Pink was always so very expressive._

 _"Yellow made this for me. It was a gift of song." she told her. "Oh, I don't know. Do you think it might be a bit too much? Too garish for my court?"_

 _White glanced at her. "I assume your court would welcome such things."_

 _Pink laughed, her voice ringing out of her like lovely brass chimes. "Was that said in jest?" she asked, with a grin now. "I had no idea you could joke."_

 _White Diamond raised her eyebrows a little as Pink Diamond touched a few keys on a console; the sculpture was mechanical in nature, it seemed. The petals of the device spread open, glowed with soft, pink light and immediately a gentle, soothing melody began to play._

 _"Ah, I see..." White Diamond replied, primly, "It is...a musical instrument of sorts."_

 _"It does hold a purpose," Pink explained. "To calm and soothe. You must know that it is my belief that song cures what ails us."_

 _White cracked a thin smile._

 _"It's wonderful. It's intended to bring gems together; to give them the hope that they need," Pink Diamond told her._

 _White furrowed her brow, as if confused by the device. She leaned her head to one side, like a scientist trying to understand a particularly confusing test subject; such was how she was. Pink folded her arms across her chest, chuckling softly at the eldest diamond's confusion._

 _Pink playfully poked her side, making White stumble a bit. She arched a rather unimpressed eyebrow at her and straightened her robes with a grand sweep of her hand._

 _"This will not catch on, Pink." she quipped._

 _"Give it time." Pink assured her, as they rose and started to depart. "Music is healing. After all, you told me that gems are made of light and sound. What if this song could be something used to nurture and heal others?"_

 _"If it does so, I will applaud you for your insight and cherish the idea of being wrong." White replied._

 _A laugh from Pink Diamond. The sound made White smile. A rare, genuine smile._

 _She gestured with one hand. "Come. We have studies, you and I."_

 _Pink started to follow her and they passed a fountain. Before she could continue, White stopped her and gestured to the fountain._

 _"No. Clean your hands of that dust before you sit," she chided gently._

 _Pink chuckled knowingly and ran her hands through the water before playfully splashing White Diamond with it. So affectionate and so utterly ridiculous at times. Such a strange change for a leader of the Authority. Still, it made White Diamond smile sometimes._

 _"Honestly, you should put more of that effort into ruling your people, not in these games." White said, as they took a seat together at the table._

 _"Games are fun, you and I know that. And was it not you who said I am to be more congenial in my affairs?"_

 _"Ah. I suppose I did say that..."_

 _They spent that morning going over the history of Homeworld and learning of its growth in the form of colonies. White was speaking when she began to notice a change in Pink's demeanor. She furrowed her brow and shut off the tablet she'd been using to play back images of gem history._

 _"Does something trouble you?" White asked._

 _"Hm?" Pink looked taken by the question. "Oh. Oh, it's nothing, White."_

 _She reached out, placing a hand over White's. She took her hand eventually in hers and smiled brightly. White raised an eyebrow._

 _"Nothing. I'm just in deep thought," Pink told her. "But I am glad that we have these lessons together, despite your busy schedule."_

 _White smiled at her. "As am I. It is my duty to do what I can to make life easy for you, Pink. I would not see you struggle to adapt to your role."_

 _Pink brightened with a small chuckle._

 _"Shall we continue?" White asked._

 _"Oh! Of course."_

[Present]

White Diamond sat in her throne in the darkness of her tower, watching the computer screens in silence. She connected the tubes to her back once more and leaned back once she was comfortable. A dull, pitiless smile touched her cheeks.

She shut her eyes and took a deep sigh, focusing her mind on every single corner of Homeworld and everything that functioned within.

Well, duty called her.

She would wait for whatever else would come.

White gave a quiet, synthetic chuckle and it echoed through the silence of the tower.


End file.
